i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
