is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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