Yo dont text me then not text me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
