Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
