I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
