I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
