i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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