i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
