I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
