Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
