I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
