I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
