So drunk its hurt
thus making me awesome and them whores
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
