What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
