that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
