And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
