i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize