Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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