Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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