you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
