great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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