well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
