She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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