I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
