Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
