I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
