i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize