Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
