Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
