Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
