I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
