Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
