I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize