bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
