First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
