I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize