giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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