Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
