Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
