i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
