I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
