one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
love makes seman taste better
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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