I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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