That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
