Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
