hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
