I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
