Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
