if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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