You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
