Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
