I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
