are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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