Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
